Horror journey to Andover for the floodlit cup..

First, Liam decided to leave his lights and radio on for 20 mins at Otters car park which led to his battery dying and therefore unable to start his car..

Second, Nashy claimed "I've got no petrol!" as the reason that he was unable to drive, despite the fact that he had enough to get his car to Otters and back, and there are about 15 petrol stations on the way to the ground!

Then, myself and Knighter took our seats in Tommy Kerr's rather nice Focus, looking forward to a pleasant journey to the ground. I found out later, that this is not something which should be assumed when being driven around by the big man... Ludwig Leisure away.. 2 hours to get home.. or so the story goes.

All started well enough as we followed the convoy of cars to Andover but things went awry when Tom decided he knew "Andover like the back of my hand" and took what he described as a shortcut. 5 wrong turns later and 45 mins to kick off we are in and around the Winchester area, thankful that Bruiser's got 3 on the bench! By now it's pitch black and we've got no idea where we are, except, rather ominously that according to the road signs, we are in the vicinity of a crematorium.. Knighter pointed out that our situation, complete with a very low tank of fuel, had "rape written all over it".

A few frantic phone calls to Bruiser later, we are on our way in the right direction and make the ground just in time for kick off...

After the game, Knighter wisely decides to get a lift back with Bruiser as he seems to know where he's going when he's at the wheel. I foolishly decided that Tom couldn't make the same mistake twice and got in, looking forward to a bite to eat and taking in the Champions League Highlights in the comfort of my living room... 30 mins after setting off, we realise that we've gone completely the wrong way and have somehow ended up at Fleet services on the M3 on the northbound carriageway. My stomach was livid. Finally got back to Otters car park at 10:30pm, an hour after leaving Andover.

Something tells me that Tom might benefit from a TomTom at Christmas.. there's a joke in there somewhere...

Couple of points to the match report writers.. MY NAME IS BIKRAM THIARA, AND MY NICKNAME IS BIK. I am not a biro, or a razor and my surname has only one R. Thanks.

Also, I know Nashy is on a scoring streak, but I'm pretty sure it was Liam who smashed in the volley in the 2nd half... I'm sure someone will correct me if I'm wrong!

At least you eventually made it to the right ground. I paid £7 to get into Andover FC thinking it was there!! It was only when I noticed that I didn't recognise any of the players warming up that it occurred to me that I was in the wrong place. Embarrassed, I managed to get a full refund and get to the Athletics ground where I met up with Mr & Mrs Nashy who had done exactly the same!!

Valid points on the match reports..... having studied the replays Liam has been awarded his goal and Nash has been deducted his 17th of the season. As for your name, there's no pleasing some people?!! Changes are being considered. Apologies for any misunderstandings Bic.

I'd like to throw in the melting pot the story of ludwig leisure toward the latter part of last season. After a couple of cheekies in the ludwig pub after the game we decided to depart in convoy. Bruiser, Lloyder, myself and Tommy Kerr all got into the car's and departed. I would like at this point to state that i had a quarter of a tank of petrol in the car.

Upon leaving the car park i followed tommy and turned right! i glance in my wing mirrors to see bruiser and lloyder who were behind me turn left! So i phone Tommy......

NC: "tommy, are you sure your going the right way? Bruiser and Lloyder went left out of the car park".

TK: "yeah mate it's OK this is the way i came in, just follow me........."

bearing in mind that it was an evening game and now very dark as ludwig is not a place where lamposts have become popular, i trust tommy and follow him.............

After about 20 mins and taking a series of country roads i pass a church for what i feel like is the second time i decided to phone tommy.

NC: Do you know where you are going?"

TK: "Yeah, Yeah it's all fine i just took one wrong turn back there but we're on the right road now"

Concerned i state to tommy that me petrol light is about to come on....

15 mins later i am in the middle of nowhere, no sign of civilisation, seeing roads signs for newbury and overton, petrol light now fully on, and no network on the phone other than 112 for emergencies, which is now looking appealing.

Alas, we stubble across a local village and decide it is time to ask for help. Knighter like you by this point i am beginning to fear for the pureity of my anus. we find a dog walker who points us back the way we have just came from. And states the nearest petrol station is. like Bik stated at fleet service station.

tommy now agrees not to drive to fast in order for me to conserve what little fuel i have left. and crawling at optimum petrol conservation rate we eventually we pull out on to the M3 at some where near basingstoke and find a petrol station.

thus, i fill up ditch tommy and return to a tirade of abuse from a missus because i get home about an hour and a half leaving the pub at near on midnight!!

Bik i can emphathise with you entirely.

the moral of the story....never travel with.... follow..... listern to....accept directions from TK.

boys boys boys, i'm not as stupid as you look, I have now cemented my place in the cars of any fucker driving to away matches for the rest of the season, thus treating myself to a little snooze or maybe a bite to eat.

No one in their right mind is ever going to accept a lift of me again....perfect.

shotgun knighters car next game......oh wait a minute......how embarrasing.

xxxxxxx

Sure Tommy, Lucie won't mind dropping us anywhere you fancy.........You can bring your missus.............Oh sorry. We can fly past ASDA and pick you up some cooking sherry to drink in front of the horse racing............

Tom

You are not driving this Saturday to Clanfield otherwise you will end up in Guilford!

When you get to Otters car park you pass me the keys to your motor and ask someone for a lift maybe Bik would like to take you there?

bewise isn't that the same line you used the other day when you were talking about walnut??

jesus mate your banter is really drying up these days.....

must be the strain of married life!!!